


Jingle Bell Pants and Creepy Traditions

by Mrs_Understood



Series: College is strange, Tony Stark is stranger. [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awesome Clint Barton, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Clint has a adiction to christmas, Gen, Tony dosn't know what it is, there all so messed up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21924766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Understood/pseuds/Mrs_Understood
Summary: Tony hadn't ever had a reason to celebrate Christmas before he moved to college, the only things he had ever really done where to go to fancy galas and hide in his room on December 25th, so he has no context for what everyone else's lives look like at that time of year. Natasha and Clint decide this needs fixing.TL;DR: Tony learns about Christmas and Clint has jingle bell pants.
Series: College is strange, Tony Stark is stranger. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562074
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	Jingle Bell Pants and Creepy Traditions

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas(Happy holidays?)! This isn't my best work, but I hope you like it anyway. Also, if your jewish, do you know the name for the big candle holder thing? I googled but... well... you'll see. Enjoy!

Natasha leaned across the counter, watching Tony in amusement as he poured over his physics textbook. He had finally received permission from Principal Fury to work ahead in all of his classes, meaning he had already finished three quarters, And next quarters classes. He had apparently taken the permission as a challenge because he told them about his plan to take every STEM class before he graduated, which bothered Bruce to no end because he was actually doing pretty well. He had made her sit with him for hours to make sure he wasn’t somehow cheating. She could confirm he really was just that strange.

“Tony?” She asked. It was a game they all played sometimes: see how long it took to get him to realize they were talking to him and actually get a verbal response. Clint held the current record at 4 hours and 17 minutes before he gave up and threw a pot at the teen’s head. He looked up after she called his name for the fifth time. To be fair, she had also thrown the book into the empty dishwasher, so that might have had something to do with it.

“What?” he asked. She was startled by his appearance once again. Whenever she saw his face close up the dark circles and poorly maintained hair were hard to miss.

“I asked if you had any Christmas traditions. Steve is making me fill out a form, but I don't think he would be happy with ‘Lure in murders and gut them using hunting techniques.” she said, showing him a printed survey he had given them all at the last meeting.

“What’s that?” He asked, retrieving his book from the dishwasher and seating himself back on the stool.

“You don’t know what traditions are?” She asked cocking her head. 

“No, I know about those, the other thing.”

“ _Christmas! _” She asked incredulously.__

__“Mhm.” He said, already absorbed in his book. Realizing she was outmatched, she sent a quick text to the group chat. Clint was in the room in twelve seconds flat, closely followed by the others._ _

__“What is this?” Bucky asked, waving his phone in her face._ _

__“Exactly what you think it is, Barns. Tony doesn’t know what Christmas is,” she said._ _

__“Are you Jewish like Sam?” Steve asked._ _

__“I’m Calvinist,” Sam said, looking confused._ _

__“Then who’s Jewish?” Steve asked, turning to look at them. They all looked at each other._ _

__“Are any of us Jewish?” she asked. She had files on everyone, and it wasn’t included with any of them. They chorused ‘No’s’ in response._ _

__“Then why did I buy a 12-foot menorah?” Steve asked, gesturing to the monstrosity that was the menorah in the corner._ _

__“I’m sure someone in the dorm somewhere is Jewish,” Bucky said, patting Steve’s shoulder._ _

__“How on earth do you not know what Christmas is?” Clint asked, looking both worried and a little scared._ _

__“Listen, I hadn’t seen a dog until a week ago. I don't think this should surprise you,” Tony said with a smirk, defensively crossing his arms over his chest. She knew he hated talking about what he had missed, no matter what he said. She could see in his posture he was super tense, but more interestingly, he would rub a scar on his neck. It wrapped from just beneath his ear, disappearing into his hairline. She needed to remember to do some digging on that because there was no way it wasn’t surgical, but she couldn’t think of a surgery that would scar like that._ _

__“Guys, we need to fix this,” Clint said, lighting up. She sighed, rubbing her temple. Clint loved the holidays more than anyone she had met, and she had kicked the ass of plenty mall Santas._ _

__“Oh no, I don’t think we need to subject Tony to any of that,” Bruce said, stepping in._ _

__“I have all 45 Charlie Brown specials somewhere in my room,” Clint said, sprinting off._ _

__“Sterilize it first!” Bruce yelled, not looking up from his book. Or taking out his earbuds._ _

__“Okay, we’re gonna need a plan,” Natasha said, grabbing a notebook from her pocket._ _

__“No! No plan, because we’re not doing this,” Steve said, wringing his hands._ _

__“It’s gonna happen either way. We might as well be efficient about it.” There was a distant jingling, making Natasha dropping her head on the table with a loud thud._ _

__“Tony, you can’t possibly understand what you just started,” Bruce said._ _

__“I think I would agree with you on that,” Tony was looking over her shoulder, and Natasha didn’t need to turn around to see what he was looking at._ _

__“Natasha, wanna turn around?” Clint’s voice rang, sounding happier than ever before._ _

__“If you’re wearing that ludicrous-” She started, cut off when he covered her mouth with one hand and her eyes with the other. “Mmph.”_ _

__“Can you guess what I found with the mo-o-vie?” Clint said, with that annoyingly happy voice he used._ _

__“Nhumm,” she said, shaking her head. He suddenly let go, flipping over the ratty Ebay couch they found and landing in front of her with a jingle._ _

__“Surprise!” he yelled._ _

__“Clint, you promised me you burnt that,” she said, rubbing her temples. In fount of them was Clint, wearing a blinking shirt that said ‘Santa, I can explain’, patterned leggings (with sewn-on bells, of course), a mistletoe headband, and giant elf slippers._ _

__“Why would I burn this? it’s the best thing I own!” Clint said, dancing around to make his pants jingle._ _

__“Well, I assumed you had some dignity, but I think that might have been a mistake,” she said, looking in slight horror at him._ _

__“Why would you assume I have dignity?” he asked._ _

__“I don’t know.”_ _

__Tony seemed utterly confused, and Natasha actually felt a little bad. Only a little, mind you, because he had justed used the flame saw thrower to make toast the other day, and she still wanted to avenge Bruce’s eyebrows. He still had his arms crossed, but he at least looked curious._ _

__“So, you’ve never celebrated Christmas, right?” Clint asked Tony, turning to him and looking very serious._ _

__“I mean, I think my dad made me do a fancy dinner with a bunch of businesspeople, but I don’t really remember,” Tony admitted, leaning against the couch._ _

__“Not good enough. Okay so first…” Clint started._ _

__“Nope, if we have to do this, we’re gonna do it the old fashioned way like we had to for Steve,” Natasha interjected. They had a master list for situations exactly like this, because when Bucky had decided to integrate Steve into the ‘normal world’, he had missed some pretty key things._ _

__“Meaning we start with Sam?” Clint asked. She nodded. “Uggh,” her friend pouted but followed her out of the room nevertheless._ _

__“Come on Tony, it’s time for a depressing Christmas montage,” she said, smirking._ _

__

__0o0o0o_ _

__

__“Well on Christmas.” Sam said, grinning, “You wake up in the dark because we’ve cut the power for 30 days.”_ _

__“What?” Clint asked._ _

__“Well, they didn’t have electricity 2000 years ago, Clint. So we cut the power and then we all hold candles, then we join hands and find out if we have been good or bad.” Sam said. “It used to be hard because my mom has messy handwriting, but then we got the whiteboard and that really helps.”_ _

__“What board?” Tony asked._ _

__“The one we use to keep track of our sin-” he started._ _

__“Nope, okay we’re not doing Sam’s thing, moving on,” Clint said, grabbing them by their arms and pulling them out of Tony and Sam’s dorm. “I keep forgetting how weird his family is,” he said with a shutter._ _

__“Don’t worry about it. Bucky’s next. I’m sure he and Steve do something only slightly disturbing., she said, patting his shoulder._ _

__“Can I go back up to my lab yet?” Tony asked._ _

__“No,” her and Clint said in unison._ _

__

__0o0o0o_ _

__

__“Yeah, Bucky, why don’t you tell them what you do on Christmas?” Steve said pointedly._ _

__“Well, at first it was just because I saw people leaving perfectly good cookies to go to waste on Christmas Eve, so I’d take one…” Bucky started._ _

__“What?” Tony asked._ _

__“But then I realized it was the only time of year where you were practically invited to break into someone's house, so I started just… trying things,” he continued._ _

__“Why don’t you tell them, Bucky? Why don’t you tell them about the room?” Steve said, sounding more and more agitated._ _

__“Well, I decided to take things, but like, something that you don’t know is gone for years, but once you do it’s a huge deal,” Bucky said._ _

__“He has a whole room back home of sentimental things that nobody had noticed are missing!” Steve yelled._ _

__“Listen, if I’d known they were human ashes I never would have taken them! I thought they were for a gerbil!” Bucky yelled back._ _

__“But you didn’t return them!”_ _

__“Well, then it would have just been sketchy.”_ _

__“And this wasn’t!” Steve yelled, clearly having exhausted this conversation._ _

__“Well if they just thought they had misplaced it-”_ _

__“How do you misplace a lock of your dead grandma’s hair?” Steve yelled over him._ _

__“Okay, Steve, why not you tell us what you do on Christmas?” Natasha asked, stepping between them slightly. She had heard this argument one too many times to know how it ended when they were left to their own devices._ _

__“Well, I sit in a room, by myself, and I wrap your guy’s gifts, and then I eat a single-serve rotisserie chicken,” Steve said._ _

__“Okay, so you’re not helpful,” she said, spinning Tony around. Clint looked like he was going to… well, she didn’t know what, but he definitely didn’t look happy._ _

__“Who else could we try?” Clint asked._ _

__“Loki and Thor maybe. They had kinda a normal family before the marmot incident” she said, thinking out loud._ _

__“Good. That’s good. Let’s try them.” Clint said, taking off down the hallway._ _

__“Can’t I just google?” Tony asked, scowling._ _

__“No. I need you to get a semi-normal Christmas experience, and if this is the only way to do it, then so be it,” she said, steering him away from the stairs leading to his lab._ _

__“I don’t see what the big deal is. I have been perfectly happy without Christmas until now. Like that saying, don’t fix something that isn’t broken,” he whined._ _

__“First of all, I don't know if I have ever seen you happy. Second, I don’t think that you can complain about fixing something that isn’t broken. Have you met yourself?” she asked._ _

__“Hmph,” he huffed, pulling his sweater around his face in defiance._ _

__“Okay Thor,” Clint was saying up ahead. “Just tell them what you do on Christmas.”_ _

__“Well, it’s great, I wake up, and then we go down and eat together sometimes…” Thor started. Tony seemed to be paying more attention to Loki who was behind him shaking his head. “And then we exchange gifts and make sure my sister didn’t figure out the passcodes to the locks yet and then we eat more,” Thor said happily. Loki had his head in his hands._ _

__“That sounds wonderful Thor, what kinds of presents do you exchange?” Clint asked, using a forcefully animated voice._ _

__“Last year my sister got me a vacation to a hotel,” Thor said._ _

__“She put you in the hospital,” Loki commented from the back._ _

__“Okay, well thanks, guys…” She said spinning Tony around._ _

__“Where are we going now?” He asked, looking incredibly bored. He kept running his thumbnail over that one scar behind his ear, and she was getting worried it would start bleeding, quickly, she caught his wrist and held it against his side. “Hey!”_ _

__“Stop that. We’re going to go talk with Bruce.” She said, steering him away, intending to leave Clint and his Christmas addiction behind. Unfortunately, a faint jingling told her that wasn’t going to happen._ _

__“Is he the last one?” Tony asked._ _

__“No, then you need to hear Clints.”_ _

__“Can I get the powerpoint ready?” Clint asked, bouncing a little. She swears he acts younger than Tony sometimes._ _

__“No more then 15 slides,” she said. He nodded dutifully._ _

__“15! Jeez what is there to say after, like, 7.” He grumbled. He was still rubbing that damn scar, and she was getting kinda upset about it._ _

__“Will you stop that already?” She asked, catching his wrist, although this time she wasn’t letting go._ _

__“What?” He asked, cocking his head._ _

__“That stupid thing with your scar. You’re gonna cut your neck and I don’t want to clean blood out of the carpet again today.”_ _

__“Fine.” He said, stuffing his hands into his pockets with more force than strictly necessary._ _

__“Anyway, you made a powerpoint once on dog food vomit bombs that were over a hundred slides, so you don’t get to talk.” She arrived at Bruce’s door, knocking loudly before letting herself in._ _

__“What are you-” He asked, packing his things together into a duffle bag, probably for the break._ _

__“Fix it.” She demanded, shoving Tony at him._ _

__“If I could I already would have.” He said, looking Tony up and down “What exactly do you need me to fix?”_ _

__She heard a jingling, making her wince. “We’ve been trying to teach Tony about Christmas, but everyone has crazy families and he needs to understand how awesome it is,” Clint explained._ _

__“Everyone is screwed up, please give him perspective.” She summarised._ _

__“So basically everything is normal, but Christmas?” He asked, raising an eyebrow._ _

__“Listen, you have the most normal life out of all of us, and Clint isn’t letting this one go.”_ _

__“Fine. Meet me in the living room with everyone in 20 minutes.” Bruce said with a sigh._ _

__

__0o0o0o_ _

__

__“Okay,” Bruce said. He looked tired and grumpy, but she knew him well enough to tell that he was enjoying himself. “None of you are normal about Christmas- Clint put your hand down. None of you are normal about Christmas and I don’t have time to explain because I have to pack, so instead, you're gonna watch this movie and not talk okay?” Bruce said. “Good.”_ _

__He pressed play on the remote and left. A black and white image of bells flickered to life, followed by a page flipping, showing ‘It’s A Wonderful Life.’ on the screen._ _

__“Oh no,” Clint muttered._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Ho Ho Hope they get therapy soon. sam is a little OOC but i don't care. I hope you liked it, please review <3


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